Coming from a perfectionist myself, that says a lot.
Being a perfectionist has affected so many parts of my life, both good and bad.
The first relationship I was in, I wanted to be the “perfect” girlfriend.
I couldn’t even tell you where I specifically got that idea. It’s possible it came from watching movies, tv shows, and and being surrounded by friends who were in relationships. By observation, I took mental notes of the do’s and don’ts of being in a relationship from my surroundings.
At 15, I was going off the idea if I was the “perfect” girlfriend, we’d be together forever. Oh the thoughts of a high schooler in her very first relationship…
Sometimes I look back and just think OMG, I can’t believe that’s l how I thought back then and also hormones played a role as well. It just amplified feelings 100x worse than what they actually were.
Again, a part of me laughs because a breakup during that time can feel SO devastating, but in retrospect, there’s more to life than a high school relationship. I don’t regret what happened back then, but that “perfect” mentality set me up for unrealistic expectations I had for myself.
My work background currently is in facilities and operations. A lot of “behind the scenes” work you can say. I have a MUCH bigger appreciation for those who have jobs behind the scenes. There are so many working parts that you don’t see with the naked eye.
The perfectionist mentality definitely excels in this line of work, to be detail oriented for big projects and events, but it also taught me to leave space for things to go wrong and how to adapt.
There’s only SO much planning you can do and have everything down to the tee, yet something will mess up AND THATS OKAY. Don’t beat yourself up for it (This is one I still struggle with, but a work in progress)
In the Filipino culture, it’s a big comparison game.
“She’s better in this, he’s better at that, this race is better is in this, this race is better in that.”
It doesn’t really leave a whole lot of room for personal accomplishment. Whenever I heard those comments, it definitely left me feeling inadequate. There was always more attention geared towards the other side. When here you are accomplishing things… with no acknowledgement.
Being a perfectionist, prevents me from growing significantly . There’s this expectation of perfection in order to make the next step. It isn’t good. You’ll always hear people say, “ I’ll do this, I’ll do that when it’s a perfect time…”
When will it ever be a perfect time?
You’re holding your own self back? There’s so much more to life that we as society hold ourself back from. I have this fear of being wrong or having a bad turn out as a result of something I chose to do. I’ve definitely been in my own way countless times. I over analyze way too much to a point of perfection, but in those cases I just let it go. It’s either I can wait and wait and wait and do something at a “perfect” time which will never come OR just do it.
And lately I’ve been leaning towards the just do it side…
I have learned to accept my perfectionist side, but also realize I’m holding back myself from really growing and thriving wholeheartedly.