Lifestyle

Mental Health Awareness

I can admit as I write this I do have feelings of loneliness over me right now. It’s been awhile since I’ve felt that way, but it comes over me at random times.

As I’ve grown older, I have grown more mindful of my mental health. In my late teens and most of my 20s, I was well consumed into the motions of life. I can’t remember a single moment where I just sat and soaked in the present moment.

In college, of course there were social times with friends, time with S.O’s, and events to attend, but to really concentrate what I felt at my core, I didn’t provide the necessary attention I needed.

As I approach my 30s, it’s something I need to wholeheartedly prioritize. This pandemic definitely hasn’t made it the most easiest route to stay sane, but it sheds light on what can be improved in the future.

I have not been the greatest friend over the years. I look back and am definitely not the best in maintaining friendships and regret not simply checking in on people close to me.

Also, I’ve realized I’ve isolated myself from people when I’ve needed them the most. It’s definitely not a pattern I want to continue.

Looking forward, it’s baby steps that count. Whether it’s checking in on a friend I haven’t spoke to in awhile or just checking in on myself on where my mind is at, it’s a step in the right direction.

Health, Lifestyle

Nurturing Loneliness

If I’m completely honest, I haven’t really been inspired to write lately.

I definitely hit a stride for the past few months, but as 2021 is upon us…

*crickets*

It just hasn’t been flowing.

As I’ve mentioned before, I dubbed this year, “The Year of Transformation”

And that applies to all aspects of my life.

I’d be lying if this pandemic hasn’t affected me mentally. As my blog name suggests, I am an introvert and for most of the pandemic, I was managing well.

Being at home didn’t phase me as much, since I’m a homebody.

But as time has passed, even as I type this, I had this lonely wave come over me (possibly due to a lack of sleep last night).

If there’s one thing I want to highlight on my blog it’s the awareness of both the great times

and the not-so great times.

I am a pretty positive person, but I’m also human.

I’ve grown up knowing that being vulnerable isn’t something to show. I will hold back tears as long as I possibly can, until I can’t anymore.

I’m the type to let things build below the surface and admit I’ve caused more emotional pain to myself, by not just expressing explicitly how I felt.

As I grow older, I have to learn to just let it flow.

If I’m upset, be upset.

If I’m sad, be sad.

It’s one thing to let intense feelings build, but that also restrains me from the “good” feelings as well.

I couldn’t tell you the last time I’ve felt overwhelming feelings of happiness.

And even just typing that sentence above, I feel bad for myself.

All in all, it’s time to prioritize my happiness and not look back.

Lifestyle

Feel your Feelings

It takes a lot of courage to put myself out there. It’s just not my natural instinct to tell the world, “Hey! This is how I feel.”

As a result, I’ve definitely suppressed a lot of feelings.

I’ve questioned myself countless times…

Why didn’t I just I say how I feel?

Why did I hold back?

No matter how well you know a person, you’ll never truly know how they feel, unless they communicate it.

Whether it may be feelings of heartbreak, a sudden loss, a major life change, there’s strength in acknowledging your feelings as they arise.

Especially at the state of the world now, I’d be lying If I hadn’t experienced bouts of anxiety, loneliness, and fear in these last 6 months.

With that being said, I recently signed up for counseling. I walked away from the session feeling relieved. There is a definitely a sense of vulnerability, but to me it provided guidance in a way that I didn’t think I needed.